Happy Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas Eve. It’s snowing and beautiful outside. I just spent the weekend with my in-laws, and we are spending tomorrow with our nieces and nephew and more family. Matt and I are relaxing at home, surrounded by piles of presents from family, 3 sleepy animals and a perfectly decorated Christmas tree. Life is pretty great right now.

You would never know that every now and then over the last couple of weeks, my heart has been breaking more, and more. Why? Because today/tonight and tomorrow were the days that we had planned on announcing a pregnancy to our families and friends. We planned on opening gifts for our future baby, we planned on epic surprises for our grandparents and friends.

Instead, we were surrounded by family, and overwhelmed with the love and support that I didn’t think I would need. The support didn’t come in any specific shape or form…it just came in the glances across the room, the laughter between us all, and the extremely thoughtful gifts that we received.

I’ve seen SO many baby announcements on social media over the last couple of days, and as happy and excited as I am for those extremely deserving couples, it always stings just a little bit to see, because that was suppose to be us.

As I write this, all I can think is that is WILL be us, hopefully sooner, rather than later. I can’t wait for the day when we get to surprise our families and friends with what you know is going to be some kind of Lions themed baby announcement.

For now, I’m looking around at all that my husband and I have, and I am thankful, amazed and literally in awe. In a time where I’m feeling a lot of hurt, I’m feeling SO much more love and that is exactly what everybody should experience during the holidays.

I hope everybody has a perfect Christmas, and if  you can relate to this entry in any way, just know that you are not alone. Take a minute and look at all the things around you, take it all in, and give grace for every. little. thing.

 

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How I’ve Been….

Happy Sunday ❤

Last night, I was laying in bed, and realized that I haven’t written a post in over a month, and considering the fact that I’ve had a lot of caring and sweet friends send me texts, messages and called wanting to know how I’ve been doing since coming out about our IVF journey…I figured I’ll update everybody.

I’m gonna be honest. I’m not doing fantastic, but I’m not doing horrible either. It’s been a rough couple of months, and as the time gets closer and closer to our first biopsy, my nerves are getting the best of me. I’m taking things day by day, and trying to stay distracted and busy, which isn’t hard right now because our apparel business is getting SWAMPED with orders! (SO grateful for that!)

Christmas is close, and as much as I’m not looking forward to it this year (we had planned on announcing a pregnancy to our families next week) I’m excited to see family and friends and take a break from my normal routine.

I’ve had fun decorating our house, this is our first Christmas at this house, and the first time I’ve had two trees! I got crafty with decor and made some signs, and ornaments for myself and several others! The only thing that would make this month better at this point, is if my hubby was able to be here more often. He works so far from our house, and with the snow, and horrible roads, I feel like I’ve barely seen him over the last couple weeks.

I’ve spent a lot of time working from our bed because I still have days where I’m in a lot of pain; but on the other hand, I have days where I have bouts of energy and I go and see my nieces and nephew, go shopping or take 4,235 packages to the post office. 🙂 I’ve taken up reading again, and have loved it. Reading is so relaxing to me! I received the book thats pictured below as a Secret Santa gift this past week, and I’m so excited to read it!

I hope that everybody reading this is having a wonderful holiday season, and has the chance to spend it with loved ones. Take advantage of this time together! It’s something that I know can seem so stressful, and like such a headache, but time with family is SO important, so take it all in, and enjoy it while you can.